Dear Heart,
Happiness is different for everyone. What makes me happy may not be what makes you happy. Think of it as a recipe – that you need to explore, play with, and decide on the ingredients that are right for you.
In life, every aspect – health, wealth, love, etc – affects every other part of your life. So I want to stress something very important here. It doesn’t matter WHERE you start. If you want to begin by shaping a healthy body, then that’s perfectly fine. If you want to begin by deciding and acting on a certain career because it excites your imagination, that’s perfectly fine too. Or if you begin meditation, or decluttering your home, guess what, that’s fine as well.
Keep in mind also, that happiness is not a destination. It isn’t somewhere that you struggle to arrive at, and never leave. Happiness is a day-by-day thing, a moment-by-moment thing.
I think it was Abraham Lincoln who said that most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.
Try it. Go on. Just for 30 seconds, imagine yourself to be happy. Do this regularly – waiting for a bus, during commercial breaks, taking a shower. Explore what happiness would feel like for you.
Another important component of happiness is liking yourself. Being content with where you’ve been, where you’re at, and where you’re going.
Getting to that stage is an adventure in itself. The easiest way to do that is become your own best friend. I often ask my clients how they would talk to themselves if they did something dumb, like reverse the car into a post. Most say they would call themselves “stupid” or similar derogatory names, and carry on a lot of negative self talk, like “I never do anything right”.
Then I ask them how they would talk to their best friend if it was them who reversed into the post. Many report that they would be a lot more supportive and certainly nowhere as critical.
Big hint on achieving happiness: Treat yourself as your best friend.
During coming articles, I will outline further suggestions for you to consider.
Happy ever after is a choice. It’s not just in fairy tales, though. Many people, just like you, are achieving it every day.